I'm A Catch

Inspired by a wonderful post from my colleague Thoroughly Modern Morgan, I thought I'd give a run-down of a recent date I went on:

6:35pm-Leave my apartment to go meet my date. Since I skipped lunch, on the way I get a quick slice of pizza (pepperoni)

7:00pm-Meet my date at Baci & Abbracci, a great restaurant in Williamsburg known for their delicious pizza (I picked out the restaurant--shows I'm classy and like to stay close to home in case of emergencies, which is another sign of class)

7:05-She orders a Cabernet Sauvignon. I opt for two glasses of Sprite (I like to get two right off the bat so I don't have to wait for the refill--preparedness=security=good husband)

7:20-Our food arrives. She gets a goat cheese and roasted beet salad to start and the pumpkin ravioli special. I start with a sausage and porcini mushroom pizza, and dig into a spinach, pine nut and ricotta pizza for the main course. We share a laugh admiring the wonders and eccentricities of old age (re: I laugh when an elderly man trips on the restaurant's patio steps)

7:50pm-I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and sneak out of the restaurant to grab a quick slice of pizza from nearby Driggs Pizza. I sprint the whole way

8:00pm-Drenched in sweat, I return to my seat and we pay the bill (I have lost my wallet at some point during the run back. Oops!). Off to the movies! (In The Land of Women!!)

8:30pm-In the lobby of the movie theater, I trade clothes with my old college friend Harry, who kind of looks like me. I send him into the theater while I go to Pie By The Pound on 4th Ave, and eat 2.5 pounds of pizza by myself (I put it on my tab)

10:30pm-Having completely forgotten about my date I return home, where I fashion a crude pizza out of pita bread, mashed up cherry tomatoes and melted string cheese. Delicious!

11:45pm-I text my date to ask which she likes more--Robocop I or II. No response! LAME!!