Like Father, Like Son, Like Son's Friend From College

Big thanks to Chris, who provided these elucidative answers to my House queries:

1) Head of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine, and infectious disease specialist, and nephrologist
2) It's in Jersey. I don't know
3) It's Princeton General, yes, it's real (at least within the reality of 'House')
4) He's fairly insulated due to his near flawless record
5) He's addicted to Vicodin due to nerve damage in his leg
6) He accounts for over half of the lawsuits in the hospital, but he's also one of the most respected MDs in his field, which leaves the hospital open for grants and also gives them a higher success rate

Like Father, Like Son

Questions I asked my dad while we watched his favorite show, 'House'

1. What exactly is House's job?
2. Why is everyone so good-looking?
3. What kind of hospital is this? Is it even a hospital?
4. How could House say something like that to a patient and not get immediately fired and/or sued?
5. Why does everyone keep giving House drugs?
6. Why wasn't House fired long, long ago?

Answers I received

1. I'm not sure
2. A few people aren't good-looking
3. I don't know
4. This show has such good writers
5. Something about his leg
6. When people go into hospitals now, they ask for a doctor like House

In The Mean Time

Today at the supermarket deli counter, after observing a woman get extremely excited that they had chicken samples:

Me: That woman got really excited
Stranger Standing Next To Me: Excuse me?
Me: I'm sorry, that was weird

Bagels

Help from The Maltman

Recommendations

If you like:
The sweet/savory blend of Kettle Corn


You will like:
Reality

Recommendations

If you like:
Eastern philosopher Laozi


You will like:
Confidence

Recommendations

If you like:
Classical music in the Baroque style


You will like:
Ham

Recommendations

If you like:
the novels of Gustave Flaubert


You will like:
Popozao

Men's Suits?

The guy blocking the most awkward boy from the subway is Bobby, my improv coach. He's the raddest.

Observation I Made This Morning, In The Order That I Made Them

1) The multivitamins I take make my pee bright yellow.
2) My shower drains very slowly.

by Berg (check out his new site, PoliceCat!)

Soapbox Speeches I'd Like To See

Town Hall has been on fire for three weeks now, and it’s time we did something about it

Whoever has been putting their Burger King trash under my Jeep's windshield wipers--please stop

I can sweep a floor clean faster than a vacuum cleaner, and I will prove it next week at noon sharp in the town square if it kills me

What this city needs is a Ruby Tuesdays and less crime

Guitar Hero at my place this Friday. If people are into it we can order some pizza or we can just play it by ear

The rumors you’ve been hearing are true—anything Ned Simmons in accounting touches turns to gold

The town time machine has been repaired

IMDB Publicity Photo Portraits: Mark Ruffalo

Soap Operas I'd Like To See

Tough Street
Emotion Town
Lebron’s Aviary
Deafening Whispers
Prognosis: Tragedy
Mannheim Avenue
The Den (about good-looking teenagers who live in an opium den in Greenwich, Connecticut)
Miracle Storm

Sheepshaw

Made by Dude Rock Death

QRAD FM Radio: Primetime with Phil Landry

Phil Landry: I’m here today with Backwards Roger, the famous rapper. Let’s listen to a clip from one of his new songs.

Straight west-coastin’
I ain’t boastin’
Clear through the haze like a drop of Visine
Scores of ghosts in my house.
Get up out my house ghosts.
Rap is a Desert, and I’m the canteen.

PL: Backward Roger. The question on everyone’s mind: What’s the meaning behind your name?

Backwards Roger: As you know I grew up in a rough neighborhood—you had to have eyes in the back of your head if you wanted to stay alive. I just had these eyes in the front of my head, so I walked backwards everywhere and that way I could see everything at once.

PL: I see. Let’s listen to another cut off your newest album. Would you like to intro this one?

BR: Yeah yeah, this is a cut called ‘Neighborhood Girls,’ and it’s about… well, I think the rhymes will speak for themselves.

PL: Alright, let’s roll that…

Look at ‘cha shorty
All growns up
Pick the phone up
Call ya homes up
Spoons is drippin green slime
Stay away from the silverware ghost
I eat with that shit
Y’all up and ruined my dinner
I will front-kick you

PL: Backwards Roger, I have to say there’s an alarming amount of time dedicated to ghosts on your newest album, Memory Gun. Why the sudden fascination with the supernatural?

BR: Yeah, well I got these two ghosts living in my house right now. Also I’ve been getting really nostalgic lately, thinking a lot about youth and responsibility—those are the things that influenced my first single, ‘Youngblood.’

PL: Well we have a special treat for our listeners today, the world premiere of that track.

What, what
Hey now hey now
Backwarddssssss again
Killin’ it since I was ten
One friend, the city I’m in
Don’t pretend
You’se a straight daydreamer
A gutless night screamer
Gonna need a paramedic
If ya leave prints on my Beemer

(Can’t sneak up on Backwards
No you can’t sneak up on Backwards)

Wake up kid
Put your thinking cap on
Put your running shoes on
If you blink-POOF-it’s gone

(Can’t hide for a moment from Backwards
He sees you in the nook, it’s Backwards)

Prince on the box
King Cobra on the rocks
More curves ahead
Than Vivica A. Fox

Youngblood keep your eyes on the prize
No guts no glory
Gotta open your eyes

God DAMNIT ghost
What did I ever do to you?
These are my NICE shoes
These shoes cost $350
Do you have any idea how long it took me to find these?
Leave me in peace ghost!
Please just leave my home,
I’m fucking tired of this,
It’s crazy.
What? You want me to open the pantry?
Son of a bitch ghost!
I have NEVER seen that much ghost slime
Were you raised in a barn? Why the hell would you
Do your ghost slime in my pantry?
Oh crap, where’s that other ghost?
He’s in the tub?
I was gonna take a bath tonight!
You KNEW that.
This was all a distraction so the other ghost could go be a ghost in the tub,
Wasn’t it?
Wasn’t it?!
That’s it, I’m calling the cops.
…
Yes this is Roger Lucas at 114 Madrone. Yes, there are two—excuse me?
Yes, I’m Backwards Roger… Yes, it comes out next week…
You’re welcome…
Thank you, that’s very nice of you to say.

Soaps I'd Like To See

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
Buckminster Fuller
"The Zone"
Lemon Hibiscus Mist
Essence of Tiger Cub
Ghostbusters
Lavender Waterfall
Ancient Indian Burial Grounds
Pepperoni Pizza